Within PWP, we think of our

newcomers as new friends. But how do

new members see us as an organization?

Most new members do not yet have a full

sense of each of us as volunteers. They

see someone on a board position as having

a job to do, and they forget that each of us

as volunteers. They see someone as a

board position as having a job to do, and

they forget each of us is a single parent,

too. This focus is normal for someone who

is going through a total upheaval of their

life as they have known it. They have so

many seemingly insurmountable problems

facing them that it is so difficult to see

beyond that. This is often evidenced by

the “talk phase.” Everyone that the new

member meets will tell the whole story of

their present dilemma. Their thinking is

far distanced from their former capable

existence. Now, they literally don’t know

what to do. What kind of future will they

have? Where will they live? They have the

lives of their children to consider. They

need to function well enough to go to work

and make an income with energy left to be

parent. They need to be able to put one

foot in front of the other and continue to

breathe every day.

What do these people experience

when they consider joining Parents

Without Partners? First of all, they call

the hotline after they find or are given the

phone number by a counselor or wellmeaning

relative. They are scared. They

reach the recording and hear someone

with a monotone voice telling them to

come to an orientation. They hang up

quickly. Then they get up their nerve

again and call back. They leave their

phone number. Weeks pass. No one

returns their call. You get the picture.

Let’s talk about first impressions and look

at the one that we are making as an

organization.

Good customer service is the

lifeblood of any business. We are in the

business of welcoming single parents to

our organization. Good customer service

is all about bringing customers back and

sending them away happy—happy enough

to pass positive feedback along to others,

who may then try the product or service

you offer.

Salespersons sell. As PWP board

members, we all need to be selling. A good

salesperson can sell anything to anyone

once. But the secret that determines

whether or not you will be able to continue

to sell to that person is the essence of the

relationship that you form with your

client. So how does this apply to PWP?

Does everyone remember someone who

came to an orientation and didn’t join?

How about someone who joined and never

came to any activities? How about all of

the people who call the hotline, don’t leave

a message, and never call again? If the

idea of PWP as a business and each of us

as salespersons does not appeal to you,

does it appeal to you to think of all of the

single parents in the community that we

somehow fail to serve?

Good customer service is the key to

developing those relationships that will

help us to better serve the single parent

population. So, let’s take a look at the

business world and apply 8 simple

principals to our organization.

your voice before recording your message.

Leave the phone number of a real person

who they can call with additional

questions. Return calls promptly.

WILL keep them. Reliability is one of the

keys to any good relationship, and good

customer service is no exception. If you

say, “I’ll meet you at orientation at

6:30pm.” BE THERE

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need to hear your story as much as they

need you to hear theirs.

swept under the carpet will fester and

grow until it infects your whole chapter.

Don’t let this happen to your chapter.

any type of gain for yourself. That is our

job, we are PWP volunteers.

members) to ALWAYS be helpful,

courteous, and knowledgeable.

meet new members at their first activity.

Introduce them to others. Plan events

especially to meet their needs.

them a coupon to attend their first

discussion. Give them a $2 discount card

to attend their first family activity.

Welcome them.

Although these principals specifically

address the needs of new members, ALL

members may benefit when your board

takes on a spirit of customer service as the

goal for your chapter. Print these

principals on a piece of poster board,

make flyers for each board member,

introduce the concept at your next board

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COME SAIL THE SEA WITH PWP

PARENTS WITHOUT PARTNERS, INC.

Come Cruise with us aboard the

7 DAY EASTERN CARIBBEAN FROM MIAMI

to NASSAU, ST.THOMAS (ST.JOHN),

ST.MAARTEN/3 SEA DAYS

Lavish Vegas Style Entertainment, great meals, friendly casinos,

the complete SPA CARNIVAL experience with all the

pampering service that Carnival is famous for.

Per person, based on double occupancy.

Port charges are an additional $217.27 PER PERSON

AIR transfers may be purchased at additional cost.

Mailing address: Doneson Travel, 21742 W. 11 Mile Rd, Southfield, MI 48076

12

By Kimberlee Taplay, Canadian PWP Member

There are few things in this world that can touch

the heart and mind of even the most stoic and

cynical person more than music. Whether it’s a

lofty instrumental that floats through the air and

then drifts gently down to wrap itself around you

like a warm blanket or the heavy metal, headbanging,

drivin’-down-the-highway-in-your-crappyfirst-

car song that became the anthem of your last

summer as a high school student, music has a way

of helping us define who we are and where we are

going. I am almost embarrassed to admit that I am

just old enough to remember many songs that are

currently making a comeback as ‘retro hits’ when

they came on the music scene the first time around.

With that in mind, here’s a thought: If I were a

betting woman, I’d wager that somewhere in the

music vault in your brain is a piece of music or a

song from a Walt Disney film that has the ability to

transform even the most trying day into something

different. It doesn’t matter how old you are;

whether you’re six or sixty, the music of Disney

somehow levels the playing field and is medicine

for the tired and the stressed.

When I was away at the International Convention

for Parents Without Partners in New Jersey, I took

advantage of the one night we had set aside for us

as ‘free time’ to take Avery by the hand and whisk

her onto an airport shuttle and then onto a

Greyhound Express bus that, half an hour later,

opened its doors to the sound of the bus driver

Broadway! Everyone off!”

We stepped off the bus and onto the sidewalk. It.

Was. Chaos. There were people everywhere. And

then there was the dull roar that was more like a

constant hum as people walked by while talking on

their cell phones,… talking to the people they were

walking with,… talking to themselves. Buses and

cars and delivery trucks sped up and slowed down.

Horns honked. Sirens sounded. It was sound that

was noise. No melody. No message. Just…

modulation.

We walked up to Times Square and window

shopped along the way. We took the obligatory

pictures of the Coke sign and of the tall buildings

and the sea of yellow taxis. Then, after a brief

respite and a quick bite to eat in Planet Hollywood,

we headed back the way we came and towards the

New Amsterdam Theatre on West 42nd Street.

On a surge of bravado the previous (very early)

morning, I had visited the business centre at the

hotel we were staying at and had surfed the net

looking for something special to do with Avery for

the following night. The result of that search was

the pair of tickets to ‘Mary Poppins’ that I now held

clutched in my hand as I guided Avery through the

crowds, through the front doors and into the theatre.

The idea of ‘going to a play’ wasn’t anything out

of the ordinary to Avery; we have been to Theatre

Aquarius in Hamilton and the Sanderson Centre in

Brantford to see many productions and concerts. I

don’t think, however, that either one of us were

prepared for the magic of the sights and sounds that

we found ourselves enveloped by over the next

three hours. I remember looking at Avery as she

watched the events unfolding on stage, and I

couldn’t help smiling and wondering if I had looked

the same when I was a child; eyes shining brightly,

toes tapping, body swaying in my seat and soaking

up the experience as I committed it (unknowingly)

to memory.

One of the first things we did in the days after

we got home from our vacation was to head to the

store to buy a kite. As odd as it sounds, Disney

magic has a funny way of becoming the soundtrack

and storyboard to your life. The whole time I was

in the park with Avery, all I could hear in my mind

was “Let's go fly a kite, up to the highest height!

Let's go fly a kite, and send it soaring! Up through

the atmosphere, up where the air is clear! Oh, let's

go... fly a kite!”

Alright… now admit it….. as you read that last

line, you heard it too, didn’t you? Don’t worry, I

won’t tell anyone. As long as you promise to

simply wink and give us a knowing smile if you

happen to catch Avery and me with a bag of

breadcrumbs down by the river as we feed the birds.

You can even sing along with us in your mind if

you want to…..

As a single mom, I am always looking for ways

to reach out to my kids and provide them with a

sense of security and certainty… even when I can’t

seem to find it for myself. My collection of Disney

music has always seemed to be able to help me find

our lost smiles. From providing me with the ‘Circle

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of Life’ analogy to use as we held a funeral for

Goldie the fish to the exquisite words and music of

the lullabies I sang to my girls when they were

babies, Disney music has been a part of the family

story I am weaving with my children. Who knows?

Maybe one day we will end up taking that tapestry

on a magic carpet ride. And wouldn’t you know it?

Thanks to Disney, we already have a song to go

along with it….

I often refer to the fact that the girls and I call

ourselves ‘The Three Musketeers’. I suppose the name

was my way of thinking that the three of us would feel a

bit more secure about our future if we could somehow

define our present.

The idea of togetherness and family became even

more important as many people who had become a part

of my life as the result of my engagement seemed to

disappear overnight when they were told of my

impending divorce. With regards to a few of them, it

didn’t really come as much of a surprise; there are inlaws

and then there those who along the way become

more like ‘outlaws’ and the toxicity that their opinions

and judgment bring to your situation make it necessary

(and a relief) to amputate them from your life.

Then there were friends and members of my own family

that I chose not to bring forward with me for all kinds of

reasons, from the betrayal of a confidence to the loss of

trust in the relationship.

However you manage and for whatever reasons you

make your decisions, there is a very real sense of loss

when you become separated and divorced. I did my

best to try and make certain that the girls knew and

understood that their family was still their family. My

own struggle was a bit more complicated and it took me

a long time to realize that that fact I was no longer

married meant that I was in the wonderfully unique

position of being able to, in essence, create a new family

for myself.

Acclaimed American writer and journalist Jane

that ‘each of us is born into one family not of our

choosing. If we’re going to go around devising new ones,

we might as well have the luxury of picking their

members ourselves. Call it a clan, call it a network, call

it a tribe, and call it a family. Whatever you call it,

whoever you are, you need one.’

Easier said than done, Ms. Howard. At least, it was

in the beginning. Separation and divorce can wreak

havoc on the heart and mind; you fear much, cry more

and trust little. I became one of the ‘walking wounded’,

uncomfortable at the thought of letting anyone into my

private thoughts and even less inclined to believe that I

might learn to trust again.

It has always seemed amazing to me that there are

people who have the ability to open their arms and

welcome others into their lives in without seeming to

question others’ motives or sincerity. When I became

divorced, I silently questioned everyone and everything.

There are times even now when my first instinct is to

step back and shield myself from letting anyone get too

close, but self-preservation and protection from the

potential of emotional pain can only work for so long.

Somewhere along the way, in order to fix what has been

broken, you need to start taking chances again, smiling

again, feeling again.

I did a lot of reading to help me fill the time on the

weekends that the girls weren’t with me in the first few

years. I remember the day that I read a piece by Virginia

Wolf and one of the passages made me realize that for

my own sake, as well as for my daughters, I needed to

start taking baby steps. ‘One of the signs of passing

youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other

human beings as we take our place among them,’ she

wrote. ‘[I thought] how unpleasant it is to be locked out;

and I thought how it is worse, perhaps, to be locked in.’

The strongest cages are the ones we construct

ourselves. In the beginning, I needed to believe that I

was doing what I needed to do in order to protect myself

and keep people out. I eventually grew to know and

understand that I was actually locking myself in.

These days, reaching out to others has become not

retirement residence (Riverview Terrace) once a month

to help serve the meal at their gourmet dinner night for

residents and their families. The three of us are a foster

family with the SPCA and have opened our home and

hearts to no fewer than 15 kittens over the past two

years. We have been involved with Christmas Baskets,

Ronald McDonald House, and Parents Without Partners.

Certain friends and acquaintances have become more

than just people on the periphery of our lives. In

expanding our world, we have expanded our family.

I’m a single parent but it doesn’t mean that I am alone.

I have developed a circle of friends who have taught me

that it’s okay to trust and allow myself to be vulnerable

again. Bit by bit, day by day, I choose to open myself to

new ideas and new experiences. Some decisions are

easier to make than others, and sometimes a big

decision seems small while a small one seems

momentous.

In the end, it’s all about rolling up your sleeves,

searching your soul and beginning to forge a new place

for yourself in the world. If I can do it, you can too. I

used to hide in the shadows, but now I choose to slap on

some sunscreen and seek out the sun. I still end up

getting burnt on occasion, but I have to believe that over

time I’m going to end up with a really great tan….

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15

CANADIAN RECYCLING FUNDRAISER

HELPING OUR ORGANIZATION

COLLECT USED CELL PHONES & INK CARTRIDGES!

and cell phones. There's no cost to join and Think Recycle pays for all collection materials and

shipping!

schools, businesses and non-profit organizations.

list today.

Think Recycle is a cost free print cartridge and cell phone recycling fundraiser. If you're looking for fundraising, recycling or both, you can earn up to

$45.00 for recycling printer cartridges and cell phones with Think Recycle. The Think Recycle fundraiser recycles cell phones, used inkjet and toner

cartridges and gives rebates on the broadest selection of models and makes.

Zone J has more details which will be emailed to all the Canadian Chapters.

Peter Sydor

Zone J President

Home: 905-574-3437

Cell: 905-973-3437

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CIA Undergraduate Scholarship Program

The Undergraduate Scholar Program was

developed, in part, to assist minority and

disabled students, but application is open to all

students who meet the requirements. The

program offers unmatched experience. You'll

complete work sessions during each summer

break, increasing your knowledge and job

responsibilities while assisting intelligence

professionals and applying your academic

William B. Ruggles Right To Work Scholarship

The William B. Ruggles Right to Work

Scholarship honors the esteemed Texas

journalist who coined the phrase "Right to

Work" and contributed greatly to

the movement's advancement. A scholarship

is awarded annually to the student who

exemplifies the dedication to principle and high

journalistic standards of the late Mr.

State Farm Insurance National Merit Scholarship

National Merit scholarships are one-time,

nonrenewable awards of $2,500 made to high

school seniors who qualify as top finalists in

the annual National Merit Scholarship

Program. The National Merit Scholarship

Corporation chooses scholars based on

PSAT/NMSQT scores and other criteria.

Achievement Scholarships are awarded to

African-American high school seniors selected

by the National Merit Scholarship Corporation

based on: PSAT/NMSQT scores, Academic

distinction, Personal achievement, and

Mercer's Diversity Scholarship Program

The purpose of the scholarship is to

recognize achievement in scholastics,

leadership potential and initiative among

minority students. Mercer seeks to

make students aware of the potential for a

rewarding career in the human resource

consulting industry and to encourage the

pursuit of such a career. Mercer intends to

award up to $100,000 to assist selected

minority students with tuition, fees, books, and

on-campus room and board. The individual

award amount depends on financial need.

The full amount of the scholarships will be

payable by check to the participating

universities for distribution to recipient(s) with

the understanding that the award will be used

for the payment of educational expenses.

AMIGO PROGRAMS ARE WINNERS!

Show us what is happening in your

program send a short summary of how

you use your Amigo Program

to encourage participation and

excitement in your chapter.

Let us tell others how your program

works! AND DON’T FORGET to enter

your program in the Awards Judging

for 2007

Send your summary to Mary Anne

Britton at aryannebritton@provide.net

17

Jo Johnson

Administrative Vice President

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The following listing is the chapters which increased their membership by 50+ new members and in

the process received $100 for their hard work:

Tarrant County Single Parents Chapter #10

Mississauga Valley Chapter #594

Westchester Chapter #21

Greater Rochester Chapter #683

Washington Chapter #60;

Fairfax Chapter #715

Fullerton-Anaheim Chapter #67

Southern Saratoga Chapter # 796

Greater Wilmington Chapter #121

Minuteman Chapter #817

Valley Forge Chapter #214

Buxmont Chapter #932

Stepping Stone Chapter #350

Lehigh Chapter #963

Lake Geauga Chapter #412

Central New England #1239

Manchester Chapter 469

Golden Peninsula Chapter #1282

Three Trails Chapter #505

South San Diego Chapter #566

Capital Area Chapter #1349

Single Parents of Greater

Hampton Roads Chapter #216

Sacramento Chapter #17; Suffolk Chapter #64;

Rochester Chapter #761; Denver Metro

Chapter 814; Toronto Chapter #837. Each

chapter will be receiving a check for $200.

In regions where no single chapter obtained

50+ members but the region as a whole

obtained 50+ members and received a check

for $100; Peach State Region Council #23;

Cen-Tex Regional Area #74; South Florida

Regional Council #92; Central Cascade

Regional Area # 98.

Regions which had a total of 100+ new

members will be receiving a check for $200;

Chesapeake Regional Council #14; Huron

Valley Regional Council #34; New Jersey

Regional Council #55; Gateway Regional

Council #58.

In total $4,500 was paid out to the chapters

and the regions for increasing membership in

Parents Without Partners.

Look for our membership contest

for 2007 – 2008.

There’s a special

force that gets

people working as a

TEAM.

Once that force is in action

The TEAM is virtually unbeatable

19

PARENTS WITHOUT PARTNERS, INT”L, INC

Winners from the Chapter level progress to the

Regional level, winners from Regional go onto

Zone level, and the Zone Single Parent of the

Year from your area is then sent to the

International level. I am sure that there is

someone you know and admire who truly

deserves this award.

www.parentswithoutpartners.org

2007 Single Grandparent

of The Year Award

(Click into the Member’s Area, then access Library;

Awards Information Kit)

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